News

I’m going to begin my letter with a true story that may leave you wondering what this has to do with November being Adoption Awareness Month.  Hopefully by the time I close, it will come together.

This past spring, my children and I decided we wanted to adopt a kitten from our local animal shelter, after passing their sign every day advertising a need for good homes. Upon arriving, I was told there were approximately 700 kittens alone that come through the shelter every spring. After looking in the eyes of many, I found a kitten I could not break my gaze away from. After the attendant allowed me to hold her, she instantly started purring madly and hugging me tightly. I could barely put her down in order to fill out the application and pay a reasonable adoption fee. Two days later she was ours! Being too young to receive her sterilization surgery at the time of her adoption, I had to make an appointment to bring her back in 8 weeks. So, as scheduled, I bring her back in for her appointment. While dropping her off, I stated to the attendant, “I’m glad we’re getting this taken care of, I think I saw the neighbor cat prowling around.” The attendant’s head WHIPS UP, and she says to me, “WHY WAS THE CAT OUTSIDE?” So, after that tongue lashing, I stutter, “Well, well…she’s a cat and she likes to go outside and play and get fresh air too??!!”  At that point I was PROMPTLY told their cats are indoor friends only, and if I was going to continue to allow my cat outdoors, I would have to bring her back.

Being a mom to 3 adopted children, I’ve thought a lot about this scenario.  Number one, wouldn’t it be WONDERFUL if we could pass a sign daily, reminding people of the number of children who are adequately taken care of, but still, not part of a PERMANENT loving family? I’ve often thought, as a society, we have more “animal rights” awareness, than we do “children’s rights” awareness. It seems to me, we have become a society of being too politically correct, and it makes people uncomfortable to think about children not having loving, permanent homes. So as I think of my beautiful pure white cat with one blue eye and one green eye, who is very loved, overfed, and who, yes, goes outside to play as she wishes, I’m reminded that while I’m not the perfect parent to my cat, there is NO DOUBT, she has HER perfect life.

And if you believe that you can’t make a difference in a child’s life, you are wrong. Where there is a will, there is a way! The resources are out there, to give you the tools to be successful. My best advice is start by contacting Marion County Children Services. They can best advise and educate you on the process of fostering and adopting and get you started.

Yes indeed, Kitty and I sleep well at night.  I know there is ONE LESS homeless lost Kitty “in the system.”

I hope upon reflection, it was obvious I used the story of my adopted kitten, to convey the thought; you do NOT have to be perfect, to be the perfect parent.

Jodi Fidler is a foster and adoptive parent with Marion County Children Services. Potential parents are reminded that children in foster care don’t need perfection; they need the commitment and love a “forever family” can provide.  To learn more contact the Placement Unit at 740-389-2317. Or visit www.marionkids.com.        

                                                                                                                

MARION — A new family was the center of attention at the Marion County Board of Commissioners meeting Thursday.

The family was to grow with the adoption of four Marion County foster children that would be concluded later in the day.

An emotional Candice thanked Marion County Children Services and commissioners for making their dreams come true through the adoption process that started three years ago.

“I can say for myself and my husband that this is one of the most special days that we are ever going to experience,” she said. “Since the kids came into our life 7 1/2 months ago … we hit the ground running.”

“And we’re still going,” said her husband, John.

“They want to be with us, so we want to have them,” his wife said.

Children services employees attended the meeting to accept a proclamation observing Marion County’s participation in National Adoption Awareness Month in November.

There are more than 3,000 children in Ohio in the foster system,

Cheryl Bowers, placement supervisor, said nine children have been adopted from foster homes in Marion County this year, and five more are in line to be adopted. There are 32 foster-family homes in Marion County.

There are many things that go into making a family, Bowers said. “So, you don’t have to be a perfect parent, but you do need to offer commitment and love to make that “forever family” each child deserves.

The crowd applauded as the family – with the four children in attendance – was recognized.

“It’s going to make a big difference in a lot of people’s lives what you are going to do here,” Commissioner Dan Russell said as he looked toward the children, ages 4, 5, 8 and 9.

 

Written by James Steven, Assistant Editor
Marion Star

(Edited by MCCS)

Very few people believe that someone they love or trust could ever hurt their child. But it happens. In 2009, a study, published in the August issue of Pediatrics found that 83% of beating/shaking injuries causing the death of a child were at the hands of mother’s partner. Far too often a child is abused or even killed when left in the care of a parent’s partner, which is why Marion County Children Services is launching a new campaign urging parents to get to know a person before they let them around their children.

The Choose Your Partner Carefully campaign is developed to create awareness of the risk children face when a non-related caregiver is entrusted with their care. Many non-biological partners have no relationship or commitment to the child. They are primarily interested in their own romantic involvement with the parent and become irritated when problems with the child arise. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the common circumstances for a child’s death are the child being at home, being alone with the mother’s partner, and crying. It is imperative that parents realize that when they choose a partner for themselves, they are choosing one for their child too!

Informational brochures are being distributed throughout the community that provide a self assessment tool to help parents better evaluate the likelihood that their partner could become a perpetrator of abuse, as well as educate them on community resources.

The most prevalent family conditions identified during the 2010 child abuse or neglect investigations completed by Marion County Children Services were economic problems and single head of household. Many of these parents lack childcare but need to work in order to make ends meet. Instead of seeking a qualified childcare center or person to care for their child, parents are leaving them with their partners. Not only do the partners often times have no relationship with the child; they have even less patience and maturity than the parent.

Sometimes, when we are in love, we can miss the warning signs. The following are a few questions parents should ask themselves about their partner before allowing them to be around their child.

Does your partner:

• Show anger or impatience when your child cries or has a tantrum?
• Call your child bad names or put him down?
• Think it is funny to scare your child?
• Make all decisions for you and your child?
• Tell you that you are a bad parent or that you should not have your kids?
• Pretend that when he/she hurts your child that you are to blame or that it’s no big deal?
• Tell you that your child is a nuisance?
• Have a criminal history?
• Abuse drugs, alcohol or prescription medication?
• Get violent or controlling with you?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, your child might be at risk. Parents should never leave their child with someone they don’t trust with their child’s life. Your child is counting on you to make the right decision!

The Choose Your Partner Campaign not only helps parents recognize potential warning signs of abuse but informs them about additional community resources for childcare that they may be unaware of such as the Marion County Job and Family Services at 740-387-8560 or Boys and Girls Club at 740-387-3462.

Parents are encouraged to contact Marion County Children Services to obtain more information about the campaign and/or referral to community resources.

If you or your organization is interested in participating with the campaign, please contact Terrie Robinson at 740-386-0452 and/or review our information tools on our website at www.marionkids.com.

One of the most difficult decisions every parent must make is to decide when to let their child stay home alone. Whether it is to run a quick errand or to cover an intermittent period of time between the end of the school day and parent’s work day, it is essential to assure each child has the skills necessary to safely be home alone. Unfortunately, there is no magic answer. A combination of factors such as age, maturity, and knowledge of expectations and safety skills must be considered to assess each child’s readiness. As the school year is quickly coming to an end and summer fast approaching, we at Marion County Children Services would like to share some guidelines for parents who may be wrestling with this issue.

The Ohio Revised Code does not specify an age for leaving a child alone. The law does specify, however, that a parent cannot “violate a duty of care”. Proper and adequate supervision of a child is a “duty of care,” and regardless of a child’s age, parents will generally be the ones held accountable and liable if something were to happen or go wrong while the child is alone.

It is generally accepted that no child younger than eight should be left alone and no child younger than eleven should babysit, however, age is far from the only factor which should be considered. Parents must determine their child’s physical & mental ability to care for him or herself and ability to assess and respond appropriately to an emergency. The child’s maturity level, dependability, and ability to follow rules and make reasonable decisions are also key factors in the overall assessment of the child.

Deciding a child’s maturity level can be tricky. Actions, or inactions, can tell a lot. A responsible, mature person can carry out a duty and is accountable for his or her own behavior. Some characteristics and behaviors to look at when trying to determine a child’s maturity level are the abilities to think things through, reason and use logic; the ability to plan ahead; the ability to act independently and to say “No”; the ability to tell right from wrong; the ability to enforce rules if babysitting younger children; and the ability to recognize and respond to an emergency.

In addition to evaluating each child’s abilities, the circumstances necessitating each event in which a child is left home alone should also be given careful consideration. Questions to consider should include the following:

• How long will the child be left alone and at what time of day?
• How often will the child be expected to care for himself or others?
• How easily can the parent be reached by telephone?
• How close is the child to a trusted adult who can help in an emergency?
• Is the home free of hazards?
• How safe is the neighborhood?
• Is the child expected to babysit younger siblings or prepare a meal?

Parents must also assure their child has the ability to respond appropriately in the event of an emergency. The US Department of Health and Human Services urges parents to consider having a safety plan which your child can follow. In addition, it encourages gathering an understanding of your child’s basic first aid knowledge. The American Red Cross Marion County Chapter offers a Babysitter’s Training Class to youth 11-15 years of age. Course instruction focuses around basic infant care and needs of school age children in addition to assisting students in identifying common safety hazards and learning first aid basics. The class also addresses common problems and conflicts experienced when supervising other children.

When parents assess their child is not ready to stay at home, there are safe childcare alternatives in the community. The Boys and Girls Club of Marion in partnership with the YMCA offers a summer program designed for school age children. This program is held for ten weeks and is packed with education and fun in a safe environment. In addition, the YMCA offers many summer camps which not only focuses on sports instruction but also provides an emphasis on teamwork and building leadership skills for those who participate.

Should you feel your child is prepared and ready to be left home alone, MCCS provides the following tips for parents:

(Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2007)

• Have a trial period. Initially, leave your child for short periods of time to allow him or her to get used to being alone while remaining close to home. Gradually lengthen the amount of time as your child grows in confidence. This is a good way to gauge how your child will do.
• Role Play. Talk to your child about things that could go wrong and brainstorm possible solutions (what if the key is lost, the dog gets loose, the doorbell rings, a friend wants to come over). Discuss the best ways to handle each situation.
• Establish rules. Do not allow your child to go out of the house or to someone’s home without your permission. Make sure that your child knows the safety basics (to not answer the door, how to answer the telephone, where to go if locked out). Create a daily schedule or list of chores so your child remains busy.
• Check in. Telephone your child or have your child telephone you periodically to check in. If you are not available, have another trusted individual check in on your child.
• Talk about it. Continue to monitor the situation. Do not assume everything is all right because you haven’t heard differently. Talk with your child often about being home alone and address any worries or fears he or she might have.
• Don’t overdo it. Even children capable and ready to stay home alone shouldn’t be home alone too long or frequent. Keep your child engaged in other activities such as those offered by the YMCA, local recreational center, churches or other community organizations.

Although deciding if a child is ready to be left alone can be a very difficult decision for parents, it can also be very rewarding. When children have the knowledge, maturity, and skills to stay home alone, it can be a positive growth opportunity for children to gain confidence in their own skills to become more independent, resourceful, and responsible individuals. For additional information and helpful links to the Red Cross Marion Chapter, Boys & Girls Club, and local YMCA, visit the Marion County Children Services website at www.marionkids.com.

Article written by: Anna Tinnerello, Intake/Investigation Supervisor, MCCS

On behalf of the foster children, foster families, kinship families, and staff of Marion County Children Services, we would like to thank Zoomers Skate Club for their generous donation for our Foster Care Month Celebration.

Zoomers donated their facility and skate rental for our foster and kinship families. This gift allowed the families an opportunity to have fun and the agency an opportunity to thank them for the tireless job they do caring for children.

Through your generosity, you are also assisting us in carrying out our mission of ensuring safe children, strong families and supportive communities.

With our sincere appreciation,
The Staff of Marion County Children Services